Reality tired of being compared to Films
Reality yesterday expressed dissatisfaction at being compared to films all the time. At a press conference in Cannes, it accused human beings of continually over-estimating reality surrogates including pictures, motion pictures, animations and the internet. ‚People say stuff like „Jesus, this reminds me of a film I saw the other day“, others praise an image as being „true to life“. Now who are those dopes to judge if anything approximates me, let alone the other way round? I bet they even hope I would conform to some third-rate movie, providing happy endings, avenging angels and photoshopped models to knock on their door. It is a shame, really, not to mention a serious infringement on my world copyright. Let me remind you, that whatever people refer to, they must be referring to me. A film, an image even, is nothing but a highly conventionalized, lacklustre and legally dubious representation of me, or parts of me.
To give you an illustration, whoever heard of a painter expecting his model to change her face so as to better fit his painting? Now this is excatly what people do when they shape their expectations according to what they saw on television, and applaude others who imitate actors who imitate me. Surely directors are some of the worst reality offenders, but let me quote one Woody Allen who said “I hate reality but it’s still the only place to get a good steak” Does that make my point clear?’
Reality then warned it will turn against each and every offender in the not too distant future by bringing about their deaths in a variety of unexpected ways and timing.
Therapist Patricia Wold, counselling reality for inferiority complex and anxiety disorders, endorses her patient’s unexpected outing. „Imagine being called ‚stark’, ‚harsh’ and ‚bleak’ wherever you go; imagine being a professional spoilsport for children, dreamers and idealists; imagine being up against the powers of fantasy and imagination, of romance and wishful thinking, and you get an idea of the emotional condition my patient is in. It is a harsh reality for harsh reality indeed! Especially as most people are trained to dissociate from the world around them by watching movies, an absurd undertaking that can only succeed when viewers manage to believe in its reality, while aware they are exposing themselves to a makebelief artefact. Now there you have a recipe for controlled schizophrenia.’
