Gordon Brown officially retired from his role as Prime Minister in a shock announcement today. His reign as prime minister lasting a record 7 days, 4hrs and more than 10 seconds.

Citing a lesser known parliamentary right known as “the first rule of showbiz”, Mr Brown resigned from service, handing the prime ministerial hot potato to his deputy “someone else”. When asked what the first rule of showbiz was

he responded “always leave them wanting more”. Apparently this concept was made famous by Elvis, 2pac, Ali G, Alan Partridge and just about anybody that has ever died whilst still in the public eye.

Knowing the right time to exercise the “first rule of showbiz” can prove tricky, backfiring for several previously important people such as New Kids on the Block or East 17, who waited too long to leave, the result being that people forget to care when they went away, and even less when they resurfaced.

The queen had this to say about the shock announcement “I don’t really care, I’m the queen. First rule of showbiz? Never heard of it! I’ll rule until my cold, robot heart ceases to pulse.”

The nation is split on how to remember his tenour as the head of, well, the nation. He will be fondly remembered for such successes as “Tuesday”, which followed hot on the heels of his other success “Monday” a key development from the weekend. Mr Brown is expected to fade into obscurity (often refered to as Scotland), before returning in several years to remind us of his past successes.

A poll conducted by rad-ish.com found that 17% said he did a good job, 43% that he did a bad job, 40% that they had been on holiday and had no idea he had a new job, but would blindly believe anything the media told them anyway. One person refused to comment,
forgetting that “no comment” is in fact a comment, some people are idiots.

The First rule of showbusiness requires that we end this article now. Actually it requires that we should have finished it three paragraphs ago….

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