Reports confirm an Englishman was arrested at the Cospuden lake in Leipzig, Saxony yesterday for the serious crime of “public decency”.

It appears the Englishman, as is the English custom, drove his car to the perimeter of the lake, where he assembled a small changing “modesty room” using the canopy of his boot, large towels and a windbreaker. In this chamber he changed down from his top hat, slacks, blazer and tie into a modest cotton, all in one, neck high full body bathing suit.

When he re-emerged and began to enter the lake he was greeted with shrieks or horror, some pointing with several bathers actually bursting into tears in a mixture of anger and disbelief.

A witness commented that it was “a scene of some discomfort, with nearby German swimmers shocked, confused and unable to concentrate on cavorting….naked.”

“All that material, just clinging there to his body” an onlooker said, we just didn’t know where to look.

“There’s just some things you don’t want to see” said Herr Dreyer who was swimming close to the scene.

“There’s a time and place for this and its not the lake! A funeral, meeting with one’s accountant, yes, maybe.” said a passerby.

“These people should have a separate area, cornered off from everyone else where they can practice their weird beliefs” said Frau Gesterberger who has sunbathing (naked) in the area.

The police were called and the Englishman was promptly arrested, much to his disbelief…

“If my reception had been anymore frosty, the lake would have frozen over and none of us would have been able to swim” he was quoted as saying.

When the Englishman attempted to explain the differing customs of her majestys England to the police and an angry mob of nudists Germans, he was greeted with ridicule and bemusement

“You’ve never bathed naked with 5 of your closest male friends?”…..”You haven’t lived.” one jeered.

Actually we call that “prison”, the Englishman replied. “To be honest, I’d rather not see your cock”.

“I don’t really want to see you either” replied Herr Koch angrily.

“Das ist not strange?! Nee, you are an idioten.” said an irate onlooker.

“It’s Freikörperkultur or as you would say Free body culture” the police tried to explain to the Englishman

“What is not free about only being naked the moment your born and briefly on your wedding night?” the Englishman added before being placed in the back of the police car.

Whilst in police custody the German authorities attempted to indoctrinate him on FKK culture, but found him unresponsive and uncooperative spending the majority of his time rocking back and forth in the fetal position gently weeping and requesting private showering facilities.

We tried to help him, but it was no use, his condition, it must be in his genes.

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